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Lindsey. Brother. 7,000 Marines died at Iwo Jima. Nearly 20,000 were wounded. It took 36 days to capture an island 8 square miles in size against an entrenched enemy with nowhere to retreat. It remains one of the single deadliest engagements in the history of the United States Marine Corps.
And you brought it up as a SELLING POINT. On a SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW. While sipping coffee in a blazer that costs more than a lance corporal’s monthly pay.
Kharg Island is 15 miles off the coast of Iran. Fifteen miles. That’s close enough to hit with a decent cricket throw if the wind’s right. Military analysts have said any force stationed there would face near constant bombardment from missiles, drones and rockets. Iran has an estimated 5,000 naval mines. One expert called it “high risk, minimal reward.” Another said the word “catastrophic.”
But Lindsey’s money is on the Marines. Lindsey’s money. From his air conditioned office in Washington. Very brave, Lindsey. Very Iwo Jima of you.
Now let’s talk about these talks. The talks that one side says are happening and the other side says are bullshit.
On Monday, Trump posted in all caps that the US and Iran had held “VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST.” He paused the bombing of Iran’s power grid for 5 days. Markets jumped. Oil dropped.
Then Iran said none of that was true. Their foreign ministry said there were no talks. Their parliamentary speaker called it “fake news” designed to “manipulate financial and oil markets.” State TV said Trump backed down from his ultimatum because he was scared of what Iran would do in retaliation.
So Trump’s story is: we’re in talks, they sent a present, the war is won, deal incoming.
Iran’s story is: there are no talks, we sent nothing, this man is lying to crash the oil price, and we’re still building missiles.
Trump’s explanation for the discrepancy? “Miscommunication within the Iranian leadership.”
The leadership he claims to have decapitated. The leadership whose Supreme Leader, defence council, and senior military officials were all killed in the opening strikes. That leadership. The one that’s apparently so destroyed it can barely function. That’s the one he’s simultaneously claiming is organised enough to negotiate a comprehensive peace deal and deliver expensive mystery presents via international logistics.
I’m not a diplomat. I’m a bloke from regional Australia who runs a Facebook page. But even I can tell you that “they’re too decimated to coordinate a press release but organised enough to negotiate a total resolution of hostilities” is not a coherent position. That’s what you say when you’re making it up as you go. That’s a kid who got caught with chocolate on his face explaining that actually a ghost ate the cake but also the cake was always like that.
Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of Defence, a title I still can’t say without laughing, told reporters “We negotiate with bombs.” He also said “This is not Iraq and Afghanistan. This is not a president who is interested in vague end states.”
Pete. Darling. “They gave us a present and I won’t tell you what it is” is the vaguest end state in the history of military operations. “The war has been won but I can’t tell you when it ends” is not a defined objective. “I’m not putting troops anywhere, if I were I wouldn’t tell you, but we will do whatever is necessary” is three contradictory statements wearing a trench coat pretending to be a strategy.
You were a weekend TV presenter 14 months ago. You got this job because you told a 79 year old man he was strong and handsome on a couch every morning for 8 years. You are to military leadership what a Thermomix is to a Michelin star kitchen. You make noise and produce something vaguely warm and nobody’s really sure how you work.
Now the numbers. Because the numbers are where this whole thing falls apart for anyone who isn’t mainlining Fox News through an IV drip.
59% of Americans disapprove of the war. 74% oppose ground troops. 65% believe he’s going to send them anyway. And only 7% support a large scale ground war. Seven percent. You know what else polls at about 7%? Believing the moon landing was faked. Thinking the earth is flat. Approving of Congress. Seven percent is the political equivalent of a guy at a pub who reckons he saw a UFO and won’t stop talking about it.
But MAGA is at 100% approval. One hundred percent. Not 99. Not 97. One hundred. CNN reported it. Harry Enten said they’d never seen a number like it. Which is correct, because 100% approval doesn’t exist in nature. You can’t get 100% of people to agree that water is wet. You can’t get 100% of people to agree the sky is blue. You can get 100% of people to agree on something if you’ve stopped polling a demographic and started polling a religion.
And while the cult is at 100%, the economy is eating itself. The Strait of Hormuz is still closed. 11 million barrels of oil a day are off the global market. The IEA, the International Energy Agency, not a blog, not a podcast, a major global institution, has said this is now worse than both oil shocks of the 1970s put together. Those crises each took 5 million barrels off the market and triggered global recessions that lasted years. This one has taken 11 million.
Traders have abandoned bets on interest rate cuts. Some are pricing in rate hikes. Rate hikes. In 2026. Before the midterms. While the national debt hits $39 trillion and the Pentagon asks for another $200 billion that doesn’t exist.
But we got a present.
You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of every tradie I’ve ever known who’s in way too deep on a reno. The budget’s blown. The timeline’s gone. The client is furious. The plumber found asbestos. And the bloke running the job is standing in the middle of the demolition site going “Nah she’s right mate, actually found some great timber in the wall cavity, real bonus, this is actually better than we planned.”
That’s Trump right now. Standing in the rubble of a war that 59% of the country didn’t want, holding up a mystery present from a country that says it isn’t talking to him, while the 82nd Airborne packs its bags behind him.
This is Vietnam with a Truth Social account. It’s Iraq with a subscription box. It’s Afghanistan with a loyalty rewards program and a 5 day money back guarantee that already expired.
And somewhere in a planning room at Fort Bragg, a 24 year old lieutenant is looking at a satellite photo of Kharg Island, 15 miles off the coast of a country with 5,000 naval mines and an active ballistic missile program, and Lindsey Graham’s voice is ringing in his ears.
“We did Iwo Jima.”
Yeah Lindsey. They did. You watched.
~Gman
